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Valentine's decoded: The 8 do's and don'ts of seducing a man

Vivian KELLY
by Vivian KELLY Published on January 31, 2014

Contrary to popular belief, Valentine’s Day isn’t only for the ladies. Showing your guy how much you care on this day of the year is all about celebrating your love and togetherness. And what better way to celebrate than with some red-hot action? Lure your man into bed and start getting your message across with our do’s and dont’s of seducing a man.

Valentine’s Day isn’t all about boxes of chocolate, romantic candle-lit dinners and mushy cards. In fact for us, it couldn’t be easier to give your man exactly what he wants. While most women will expect some sort of flowery arrangement on their doorstep most men are hoping those last-minute blooms are going to full-throttle you into action.

Whether you introduce a new kinky sex toy into the bedroom or start exploring new sexual fantasies with him you're guaranteed to heat things up with some new turn-him-on actions.

​So skip the cringe-worthy gifts and show naysayers how saucy this holiday can really be by mastering the art of seduction.

Become the sexual dynamo you once were and give him a Valentine's night to remember. Start putting those sexy moves into practice with tips from Soft Paris founder, Anne-Charlotte Desruelle.

Ladies, it's time to take note.

​Do use toys...

Toys are easy to integrate into your private life and a great way to get your man’s attention.

So why not spice things up with a toy? “Start the evening by treating him to a massage using a vibrator, making your partner feel relaxed and appreciated. Let your hands speak for themselves and caress his body. After teasing him, suggest more intimate uses for the vibrator, which will be fun for both you and your partner.”

Buying a sex toy for the man in your world will not only give him the time of his life but quite possibly yours too.

​Use it for outer stimulation and clitoral titillation - the results are gonna be hot.

Do learn a new skill...

It’s rare for everyone to have it all in bed so don’t fret. We all have our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to sex so what better way to heat things up than to explore a new sexual territory?

​“Change your routine by exploring new territory. Try new techniques together that will make him realize he has (literally) never been in better hands.”

With this new-found sexual confidence you’re sure to impress your beau. From crazy hot sex positions to tantalizing oral sex techniques adding new skills into your repertoire will always end in a mind-blowing crescendo.

Do share a fantasy...

Sharing a sexual fantasy together is a major sizzler in the bedroom.

“Think about what you enjoy and would like to share with your partner. Sharing, exploring and realizing a fantasy will let your partner know you feel confident about your sexuality.”

Unveil the seductress in you and give yourselves something to look forward to. Still daydreaming about that police fantasy? Don't limit yourself, start putting those sexy handcuff thoughts into action.

​If you're lost for ideas pick up a an erotic novel (ahem, Fifty Shades of Grey) or film. There's no limit to where those saucy fantasies could go.

Do tease

What's the fun in sex when you just head straight for the goods? Nada.

​Build-up his sexual anticipation and prepare yourselves for mind-blowing sex.

“In your everyday life be attentive and in moments of discretion give him a seductive stroke. Let a suspender or a strap show subtly, making him curious to know more.”

​Add a little teasing to your sex life; caress up his leg, send a scandalous text or maybe just grope him (outta nowhere obviously). Trust us, he’ll be pouncing on you in no time.

Don’t be shy...

The beautiful thing about sex is that it’s a time where you and your partner can let down your inhibitions.

“Rather than letting him do all the work - take control, be proactive and initiate conversations, actions and exploration. Do not be afraid of showing your sexual personality.”

Take advantage girl - you can get away with a great deal behind closed doors.

Don’t scare him...

Stockpiling a collection of butt plugs under your bed like Jennifer Lawrence is probably not the best way to reel in your man, in fact it’s a hell of a way to scare the bejesus out him (and that's not really our aim here).

​“Be open and and spontaneous but know your partner’s boundaries. There is no harm in testing a limit, however bare in mind it is supposed to be fun and romantic.”

Remember men can be shy in bed too. So if you’re taken back by the look of shock horror on his face when you wandered out in top-to-toe bondage wear with restraints to complete then maybe he’s not as open-minded as you are.

The lesson here? Know your limits.

Don’t make him chase you...

For men, it’s intriguing when a woman is sure of herself. Men are attracted to women who know who they are because they know they won’t run the risk of ending up with a clinger.

​“Try to balance being reliable and independent by seeming unavailable but remaining attentive - Spend an evening out with your friends but make sure he knows you haven’t forgotten about him in the mean time.”

Don’t go all OTT with your game - it’s great that you have your own life, but he still needs to know you care (yes, guys have feelings too).

Don’t buy him cheesy gifts...

Give him something to remember. Your man might be pleased with a heart-shaped box of truffles (seriously, who doesn’t like chocolate) but when it comes down to the art of seduction, buying a box of sweets isn’t going to cut it.

Unless you're planning on buying him tickets to the big game you'll be setting yourself up for another sexual roadblock.

​Ditch the saccharine pressies and candle lit dinners and show your man some real lovin'.

Love-and-care tactics are sorted! Have you got any seduction secrets we should know about? Tweet us @wewomenCA

by Vivian KELLY