wewomen Newsletter
50 first dates: 10 men tell us "how I met my future wife"


Stuart Heritage, 30, London, writer and Guardian Columnist

First impressions don't always count

Before meeting, me and my fiancé had several near misses. We had the same friends, went to the same places - I even worked at the same uni bar as her twin sister - but we never made enough of an impression on each other for us to remember each other.

When we MET met, it was at a wedding. All very flirty, but technically I had a girlfriend at the time (albeit a girlfriend I hadn't seen for two months and would never see again) so nothing happened.

Then six months later, when the split had been made official with my old girlfriend, we had our first date, which was brilliant but not really a date because she'd picked up a boyfriend in the interim.

A few weeks of high-level negotiations later and I was in. And that was that.
First date tip:
Don't worry if it doesn't happen straight away.

Cheaps J, 32, Surrey, Musician and Illustrator

We got together at our work Christmas do

I’m not sure which occasion qualifies as ‘The First Date” with my wife.

We worked together so we were already acquainted, extinguishing the need for the potentially torturous, occasionally wonderful fact finding encounter over a bottle of wine that neither of you are sure you’d usually choose.

Our first non-friend based evening was the works Christmas do, which we spent only in each others company. We danced, we talked, I carried her around on my back at her insistence and we played the board game Operation.

The first real date was at a Daniel Libeskind exhibition, although we didn’t actually see any of it as we spent the whole time exchanging anecdotes with 100% eye contact. I know we left for a drink, I know we had some food, but I remember little other than her face.

She proposed about a week later and we married a couple of months after that, nearly 6 years ago.
First date tip:
It's good to have a sense of humour and not being afraid to take the mick a little. Don't be a princess.

Alex G, 30, London, works in Corporate Finance

She was cheeky

When I met my wife, it was a set up date as one of my best friends was dating her best friend.

It also happened to be the day I got my first set of accountancy exam results and I had failed one so I was already hammered when we met.

She promptly asked me "what's it like to fail an exam? I've never failed anything!" And then she flicked her hair.

She did manage to get a second date out of me and we got married three weeks ago.
First date tip:
Being cheeky is good!


Love & Sex Editor
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