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Pubes, Cum and Sweat: 12 Times Sex Ain't That Sexy

Maria Bell
by Maria Bell Published on May 6, 2014
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We’ve all got that one friend who seems to have THE BEST SEX OF HER LIFE every time she gives it a go. You know, the one you want to punch in the face. We get that sex can be the best thing ever, but we’re fed up with no-one calling out that in reality, it can be kinda gross. So it's time to remind everyone that the reality of sex, is that it just ain't that sexy sometimes.

Unless you've learned how to surfbort to perfection like Bey-Z, we can guarantee these moments have happened to you too...

He cums on you...

And you don't get it all off in time. Oh great, the crust. WHY the crust.

The wet patch

Having to explain that 'what goes in, comes out' again to your (unjustifiably) horrified boyfriend as you run to the bathroom...not awkward. At all.

The anal angst

You have to deal with the fact that at one point you WILL have had your poo on his penis AND or fingers.

Realizing how much you're sweating

Yeah OK we've been pulling off our best moves, but now we're just a slimy mess.

Realizing how much HE'S sweating

Drip. Drip. Gag.

The inevitable queef

It had to happen sometime. Nooooooooooo.

Getting his pubes stuck in your mouth

Remind us why we do this again?

He returns the favor...

Internal monologue: "So do I taste OK? How's it looking down there?" MIND. F**K.

You overestimate your gag reflex

One word - mess.

69-ing

Having your guy's a**hole in your face as you gag on the awkward angle of his penis down your throat. Really? Does anyone over 16 actually like this?

The condom stench

In a world where you can run a car on water, you would have thought they could have made these things smell better. And it stays around. Nasty.

The moment he tries to tea bag you

Whoa there, buddy! Who thought up that sh*t?!

Unveiling your orgasm face

We're betting not even Bey can pull this off...

So there we have it - thank GOD it's not like that ALL the time. Had any awkward sex moments you want to share? Tweet us at @wewomenCA!

by Maria Bell
Jouez et gagnez une eau de parfum La vie est Belle !
J'en profite !

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