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12 Tantric Tips That Will Improve Your Sex Life

Cliche Wynter
by Cliche Wynter Published on April 18, 2014
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When it comes to intimacy, we're always seeking new and creative techniques to introduce to our partners. Yeah, you can say we're pretty much dedicated to keeping things spicy in the bedroom. Our latest fascination? Tantric sex. Dr. Ava Cadell gave us all the juicy bits on everything tantra related, including tips you can use to improve life in the boudoir. There's exciting times ahead!

First thing's first. What is tantric sex? According to Dr. Ava Cadell, author of NeuroLoveology, "Tantra is a Sanskrit (ancient Hindu language) word that means to weave energy, specifically Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy, between two lovers. This energy includes our thoughts, feelings, physical, and sexual actions."

As you can imagine, we were immediately intrigued.

Dr. Ava went on to explain that tantra has benefits for both genders. For women, it allows us to empower and fulfill our sexual needs, while it can open men up to a "whole new world of intimacy". It's also paramount for couples; allowing them to "create a more meaningful, intimate, and spiritual connection." We're searching, and can't seem to find a downside.

If you're eager to give tantric sex a shot, try these tips to get it juuuust right.

1. Face your lover and moisten each other's eyebrows.

It might sound strange, but don't be intimidated. After you've got that covered, Dr. Ava says, "lean into each other with brows touching." You should, "feel the energy flow from one to the other uniting the two of you into a higher level of consciousness." Then kiss gently and work your way up, adding more pressure. Finally, "wrap your lips around your lover’s tongue & suck passionately alternating your speed from slow to quick."

Ooh, sounds delightful.

2. Face each other, hold hands and breathe in and out through the mouth.

Note: this should continue for two minutes.

You might be surprised to know that breathing actually helps elevate sex in a number of ways. "Breath can add variety to your lovemaking by blowing your cool breath (with pursed lips) up and down your lover’s spine, on the inside of the thighs, along the crack in the buttocks, on wet testicles and on the vulva lips." Dr. Ava revealed.

"Alternatively, warm breath (with mouth open) can be deliciously arousing. The energy of touch promotes blood flow, boosts the immune system, nurtures and arouses so don’t forget to incorporate different kinds of touch with your lover."

3. Get touchy.

This can include anything from a body to body massage, oral sex with one hand firmly pressed against your lover's heart, having him locate your G-spot, getting handsy with his prostate, or having sex in the Yab Yum position, a.k.a YOU on top.

4. Declare your intentions.

"Where intention goes, energy flows. And without intention there can be no follow through," says Dr. Ava. "Intention is about enjoying the journey as much as the destination, to relax the mind and body reducing your stress hormones in the process."

It's also important to voice those intentions to your partner. Start by putting your hand on their heart chakra, then tell them how you plan to have a more profound connection with them. "As you do this, maintain eye contact. You can also write down your intentions and give them to your partner so they can remind you of your intentions when you are not keeping them," Dr. Ava advises.

5. Share a relationship mission statement.

Where do you see your relationship going in the next 12 months? This is something you should include in your relationship mission statement, then share it with your partner.

6. Make a list of 3 things that will heighten your sex life.

This is the perfect opportunity to suggest things you think will reinvigorate your sex life. You should make a wish list of three things you want to try and exchange with your partner. Don't even think of slacking on the follow-through! Make it your duty to make sure at least one of his wishes come true each week.

7. Share 3 strengths.

Be sure to share three strengths of your relationship with him. After that, let him know one weakness you intend to turn into a strength. That's proactive problem solving!

8. Give your partner attention.

Here is where you get to make good on all your intentions. Because what's worse than an empty promise?

"Attention is being 100% present for your partner," Dr. Ava shared. "The eyes are the mirrors of your soul. Look into your partner’s soul for a deeper heart connection. Create emotional support so you can create trust, soothe nerves and enhance relaxation."

9. Designate giver/receiver roles.

The giver is the person who requests permission to look into their lover's eyes by asking, "May I come in?" To which the receiver replies, "Yes" and grants the giver access to stare deeply into their soul. The receiver must then open up the door and allow their partner a glance inside to see the real them. Afterwards, it's time to switch roles.

Finally, discuss what you saw during the exercise, and how it made you feel.

10. Finish this sentence, “I want you to pay more attention to my…"

Then don't be shy. Show him exactly how you want him to pay more attention to that specific part of your body.

11. Attempt the 'Symphony'

The Symphony is where you get to play pretend. Imagine you're a musician, pick an instrument, then "play a rhythm on your lover’s naked body for at least five minutes. Your lover has to guess what kind of instrument you are and what you are playing, then alternate."

Ok, not gonna lie, this sounds like so much fun.

12. Surrender

As it turns out, there is indeed benefits to giving in to his sexual whims. "Surrender yourself to your lover and let him/her caress and kiss you wherever he/she wants for five minutes then alternate. Use a blindfold and even restraints," says Dr. Ava.

Pretty intense!

Will you be trying any of these tantric exercises? Tweet us @wewomenUSA!

by Cliche Wynter
Jouez et gagnez une eau de parfum La vie est Belle !
J'en profite !

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