1. I love my life. I am young, single and ready to have fun, and nothing will ruin this for me.
2. Besides this certain day in February, obviously, when I am reminded of a certain aspect of my life which is usually ignored.
3. I woke up three minutes ago and I can already smell the happy couples. It smells like salt. Salt in wounds.
4. Although…I could go check my mailbox for a secret admirer's card…
5. Nope. Why did I even think…no one even knows my address
6. Maybe I’ll be sent an e-card? I do have 5 new emails.
7. FOR GODS SAKE GROUPON I DON’T WANT OR NEED YOUR LOVE DEALS!!!
8. I wish I had a boyfriend making me love heart pancakes right now.
9. You know that is literally happening almost everywhere today.
10. Why am I even going on Instagram? Do I love torturing myself?
11. Look at her sexy underwear. I don’t even have any sexy underwear. Do I even have a matching set?
12. OMG! Her boyfriend got her an iPad? JUST NO.
13. Flowers…flowers everywhere!
14. God this is depressing and I haven’t even left the house yet
15. Maybe I can get all my single friends together on a night out tonight?
16. We can all sing "Single Ladies: and put our hands up...
17. But everyone will know we’re making that happiness up.
18. Maybe I’ll just check in with Ben and Jerry instead.
19. Although, surely staying in is WORSE than going out?
20. I should probably remember here that literally not one person gives a sh*t about what I am doing tonight.
21. They’re all too busy being in love…
22. OK. Hold it in. Hold. It. In.
23. Just getting to work is a nightmare. Balloons shouldn’t be allowed on buses, they take up way too much space.
24. OMG NEW TEXT!
25. Ah. My Grandma is wishing me a happy Valentine’s Day.
26. It's sweet of her, but literally FML.
27. You’d have thought SOMEONE would be thinking about me, right? RIGHT?
28. Wonder how my other single friends are coping...
29. Radio silence from them on social media.
30. Oh, they’re all updating their Wedding Boards on Pinterest. Mmmkay.
31. Do I join in on office chat about their morning surprises, or do I put my headphones in and pretend I don’t exist?
32. The latter. Definitely the latter.
33. Oooh someone is handing out heart shaped sweets. I won’t say no.
34. Maybe I shall just replace love with food.
35. Food is there for me EVERY DAY.
36. I wonder if anyone I’ve ever dated in my entire life wants to hang out later?
37. NO! This is ridiculous. I don’t need to go off and find someone just because today is about celebrating love!
38. St. Valentine was executed for Gods sake. He was literally beaten to death with clubs and had his head chopped off.
39. Yeah. Who needs love when you know your history?
40. You know what? Love doesn’t even exist.
41. I need to watch like 100 episodes of "House" tonight to remind myself of this fact. House knows the truth.
42. Might end up falling in love with Hugh Laurie though. Problems problems...
43. I really shouldn’t be bothered. This entire thing is just commercial anyway. If anything I’m sticking it to the man by CHOOSING to ignore it.
44. Some girls choose which restaurant they want to be taken to, I choose to ignore this patriarchal commercialized festival of cheap gifts and insincere promises.
45. Maybe I should get out of my head and get onto Tinder.
46. Is Tindering on Valentine's Day considered lame? Yes or no?
47. Maybe I’ll just have a little drink...
48. Or five...
49. ALL BY MYSELF DON’T WANNA BE ALL. BY. MYSELF. ANYMOREEEEEE!
50. Yeah…Happy Valentine’s Day...no one...