Dating tips: Be careful what you eat and, crucially, when you eat it
Another Mr Bale example (poor bugger). Our date ended in charming fashion. It was my fault because I hadn't eaten earlier and we drank a lot.
I needed to eat and fast. So he's walking me to the tube station and we stop at a little bagel place en route. I've had a pint, two cocktails and about four vodkas so though I'm holding it perfectly well together (actually, really well for me) I'm starving and in need of sustenance.
I get my favourite bagel combo, bacon and cream cheese, and set about stuffing it into my mouth. I'm eating the bagel as we near the tube, and I'm thinking, shit, we're nearly there, I should probably give him an end of date kiss, but there's no way I've got chance to clear my mouth by then.
Oh god. We're at the barriers, the last chunk of bagel has just gone in and I'm frantically chewing, attempting to clear my teeth with my tongue and trying to be smiley and witty at the same time.
This is extreme multi-tasking with a high risk of jaw lock. Sod it, what’s the worst that could happen?
I go in for an extended peck. It’s OK, I think, though you’d have to ask him. The bagel really wasn’t worth the stress.
And I never thought I’d say that about a bread-food.