Overcoming speed dating snobbery
Talent spotting
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Talent spotting

After watching the first round and checking out some of the talent - I spotted two Little Boy Lost types that were right up my street - it’s my turn to get involved. The Love potion has taken the edge off so I’m (almost) raring to go. My spot, perched atop a sort of tower of foam building blocks certainly makes for instant intimacy because you can’t help to squish together.

Now I don’t mind the squishing but I’m not sure my first date - a bumbling Louis Theroux type - feels the same. He’s fighting a losing battle against the foam, which I find quite amusing.

God knows how in three minutes we get onto the subject of adultery but we do. I am pretty sure he’s sufficiently scared. Next! There had to be an arrogant one. A Scottish guy who can’t seem to make eye contact declares, and I quote: “Yeah there are a lot of fit girls wandering around the gallery but none of them seem to be speed dating.” Er, cheers. You idiot.

Finally, I have a nice encounter with a sultry Mediterranean guy sorting a silk handkerchief in his breast pocket. He’s intense in a good way - an artist - and the three minutes race by as we discuss the exhibition and his work. “Will I see you after?” he asks. I think you just might, love.

Image:© Polka Dot

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