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How to ask a guy out for the first time

How to ask a guy out for the first time

For all of those people who think girls can't ask out guys, here's an update, they can and it's hot. 

Here's how it's done...
 - How to ask a guy out for the first time

The dating game is hard enough for all of us to be worrying about who asks who out.  

If you like a guy, show them, it's the easiest way for them to know and for something to potentially happen - rocket science huh?

However even for us forward thinking females it can be quite daunting to think about asking a guy out for the first time and as in any situation, there are certain ways to approach it to make things work in your favour. 

We asked Jenni Trent Hughes, relationship guru and championer of girls doing the asking at e-Harmony for her tips on how to get it right.  

"Here we are, almost into the teen years of the 21st Century and STILL we are having trouble asking men out. What is that all about?

In this era of equality boys now expect to be asked out just as much as we do. Let's face it after centuries of always having to be the one to pin their heart on their sleeve maybe it's time for us girls to step up to the plate." 

How to ask a guy out: 

1. Make a plan: A bit of careful planning never hurt anyone and Jenni thinks this is the only way to first approach the big question. 

"It is always easier to have a definite idea in mind of what you're going to say." Jenni says.

"'Would you like to go out with me sometime?' is not as effective as 'The weather is supposed to be brilliant this weekend do you fancy going for a walk along the river?"

So while it's not worth obsessing over every detail it is a good idea to work out what you're going to come at him with so you don't just stand there looking foolish. 
2. Be Confident:  As with anything in life having a little confidence can go a long way.

Jenni says: "Don't present the idea as if they would be doing you a favour by saying yes. You've got a lot to offer and they should be thrilled that you are even considering spending time with them!

Well don't take it that far but do put a high value on your company so that the concept of spending time with you becomes an enticing one."
3. Keep It Simple: Whether you're asking a guy out face to face or via text/ dating site/ Facebook, there's one major rule: Keep it simple. 

Jenni says: "This is one of the hardest things for most of us women to do but it is crucial. One sentence is enough, it can be a long sentence, but no paragraphs please."
4. Be Direct: Pussyfooting about will get you nowhere in life, if you're asking a guy out give it a bit of oomph. 

"Men often tell me that they don't realize until after the fact that someone was actually trying to ask them out," Jenni explains, "Don't fluff it up with extra conversation, make the request factual and clear. Once you're done with all the niceties why not finish with: "Would you like to go out for coffee this Thursday?'"
5. Remember How You Like It: Chances are that you've been asked out once in your life, men aren't all that different to us, think about what you liked and use it. 

Jenni says: "Think of the times that you've been asked out when it has been successful and you've said yes - and try to repeat that experience.

Be positive and upbeat with your tone of voice. Say thank you whatever the response, and if it is a resounding 'Yes!' then be sure to end the exchange with 'Really looking forward to it!' (or whatever works for you)."

Happy asking!


Love & Sex Editor
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