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Birth, presence of the father, paternal feeling

   
Birth, presence of the father, paternal feeling

The issue of the father's presence at the birth isn't always as simple as it seems:
> Some see it as a positive presence and a benefit to the father, his partner (to share the experience and offer her support), and the child.
> Some see it as something fathers-to-be shouldn't be forced into doing.

Making him feel guilty if he refuses or forcing him to be there not only serves no purpose, but it will probably lead to resentment and unease, which are detrimental to family relations. Remember that the freedom of each individual needs to be respected.

If he's present at the birth he has to want to be. Mature 'participation' in the birth will enable him to fully experience the magic moment his baby is born and let him bring his child into the world 'together' with his partner.

If, however, your partner refuses to attend the birth, don't worry. His paternal feelings will establish themselves along the way. It's up to you to leave him space to assume his role as a dad, leave him to look after his child, and don't try to do things for him using the excuse that he's clumsy or that he doesn't do it properly. After all, we all learn through practice. 

Allow him to test the water. Even if he doesn't seem like an expert, he'll pick up fatherhood as he grows into the role, so don't worry! Your baby will appreciate daddy hugs, bottle feeds and nappy changes. Love and tenderness are what's most important. 




  
 

Parenting Editor
2009/09/16
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