Relationship advice: communication in relationships
How to tell your boyfreind that you met up with your ex
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How to tell your boyfreind that you met up with your ex

Relationship advice: meeting up with your ex

You met up with your ex, and now that you're looking into your boyfriend's eyes, you're facing a real dilemma: do you tell him the truth and risk an argument, or keep quiet so you don't ruin your evening but continue harbouring an unpleasant feeling of deceit?

Best avoided
Ideally you should make sure your current boyfriend knows about the meeting in advance to guage his feelings about it. Avoid going behind his back as secret little meetings look worse when you're found out.

" Bringing up your ex can cause your partner to compare himself - sometimes unfavourably - to your former lover" warns psychotherapist Philippe Geffroy. In short you' could damage his fragile ego.

Likewise, "don't confuse transparency with authenticity! ", says Dr Geffroy. In other words, don't go into all the details of your afternoon spent with your ex... unless he asks you to.

Best way forward
Instead of telling "everything", tell the "truth".

Linda (29), continues to be good friends with her ex: 'At first, my fiancé didn't understand. He thought I was expecting something else, something more from my ex. I explained to him that  we went through our teenage years together so we had a strong bond because of that.'

Linda's example is one that Dr Geffroy recommends:"Give your relationship with your ex some legitimacy by clearly explaining the benefits that you gain from it, in order to reassure your partner of your intentions."

Ask yourself if keeping in touch with your ex is actually bringing something to your life and if the answer is no then focus on safer plutonic friendships elsewhere.

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