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17 Things that Only Successful Couples Understand

by Laurence-Emmanuelle Bédard Published on March 30, 2015

Is there a magic formula behind successful relationships? Unfortunately not. However, a few essential ingredients are the basis of any long-term relationship. Here are 17 things that solid couples understand:

1. They avoid making their partner jealous

When you're in a healthy relationship, you get enough affection. So you shouldn't feel the need to look for even more attention by making your partner jealous. Trying to keep your partner interested is not a bad thing in itself, but creating insecurity to achieve that goal is not the best solution.

2. They don't read each others' texts

Feeling the urge to check your boyfriend's cellphone is a sign that you don't trust him. Once you start acting like this, each text will become a potential conflict. Also, don't communicate your feelings by text messages because you dare not tell him something in person.

3. They work on their relationship

The strongest couples understand that they must work hard for a relationship. They struggle everyday and are grateful that their better half is in their lives. They allow the relationship to evolve and, when they say "I love you," they really mean it.

4. They do not compare their relationship to those of the past

When comparing two things, there is always a winner and a loser. All relationships are different, and what makes them special has nothing to do with other relationships. You may have had many wonderful friends in your life, but you must concentrate on your current relationship. The past belongs in the past.

5. They don't try to spend all their time together

In a healthy relationship, lovers do not feel the need to be together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They know it is important to maintain their independence and have other interests. This means that you have to go to the movies with your friends while he goes to the gym. Your partner wants to enjoy his life. And you want the same for yourself.

6. They avoid constantly complaining about the shortcomings of the other

In an enduring relationship, both partners get to know and accept the faults of the other. You can't blame people for who they are. Perhaps your boyfriend is not very romantic, while you are disorganized. Better to laugh at your shortcomings than to complain uselessly. After all, nobody's perfect. Not even you!

7. They don't try to change their partner

You had reasons for falling in love with your boyfriend, not because you saw him as a "project." Stable couples don't try to change the appearance or the way of being of their significant other. In a harmonious relationship, we both accept who we are, as we are.

8. They don't compete with each other

Challenging your partner is not the same thing as competing with him. When we issue a challenge, we are pushing somebody to be the best he can be. On the other hand, in a competition, there is always a loser, and so no one wins!

9. They don't impose restrictions

Preventing your partner from doing something (or vice versa) limits the growth of your relationship. The imposed "rules" only generate resentment. Okay, maybe he doesn't like you wearing miniskirts when you go out with your friends, and you don't like the idea that he has coffee with his ex, but it would be better to nurture confidence in one another rather than to impose rules.

10. They don't embellish the truth

A long-term relationship is built by, and for, two people. This means always being honest with each other, even if it means saying things that the other doesn't want to hear. By paying attention to the way we express things, it is possible to share everything.

11. They never insult the others' family

Feeling comfortable enough to criticize your partner's family is like giving your other half the right to comment on your weight. It may be okay... as long as it's a two-way street.

12. They don't constantly ask where their partner is

Solid couples don't need to be constantly in touch. They don't care to know where their partner is every minute.

13. They don't feel the need to be together all the time

Spending every second together isn't a sign of a balanced relationship. Instead, the ability to be separated is synonymous with a strong union. Spending time alone, or with your friends and family, will make you appreciate even more the moments you share with your sweetheart.

14. They never refuse physical affection

The sexual component of the relationship is as important as the emotional side. It should seem impossible to resist your partner.

15. They never humiliate their partner in public

Humiliating your partner, especially in front of others, is a legitimate reason to end the relationship. There are many ways to express yourself. Some are good, some not.

16. They do not compare their relationship to others

There is no one universal way to love someone. When you compare what you have to others, there will always be times when you feel short-changed. A relationship is strong because it doesn't look to the outside world to validate itself.

17. They communicate their frustrations

In a successful relationship, each partner can speak without fear of how the other will react. Getting angry without communicating is not helpful for anybody.

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by Laurence-Emmanuelle Bédard

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