1. Unleashing your Inner Dress-Up Queen
If your kid wants to run errands with you in matching princess outfits or superhero masks, it's best to just go with the flow instead of risking a possible temper tantrum. Plus, it's nice to remember how exciting and magical the world becomes when you have a magic wand in tow!
2. Arriving late
"Oh, my kid fell and hurt himself just as I was running out the door! I HAD to stay and give him Mommy hugs!"
3. Leaving early
"Oh, my kid has an upset stomach. I need to leave to make sure he's alright!"
4. Becoming an exercise-aholic
If fitness was your thing beforehand, having kids probably ups your concern with keeping healthy. To all those people who side-eye the motivational fitness quotes you post every day on your Facebook, tell 'em you're doin' it because you want to be alive when your grandkids come along. That'll shut them up!
5. Obsessing over eating clean
Nitrate-free? Grass-fed? In season? Yesss, you can turn into one of those grocery shoppers who spends an extra 20 min at the store to read the labels. Let your organic freak fly wave high!
6. Not following up on the news
The days of reading the New York Times in the morning with a hot cup of chai tea are looooong gone. Now any newspaper in the house is used as a protective cover for your child's arts & crafts projects.
7. Reading young adult books
How are you going to know Fault in Our Stars is an appropriate read for your child when she's older if you haven't read it yourself? And, oo - better get started on The Babysitter's Club again and Sweet Valley High! Oh, who are you kidding? You're more interested in who won the Caldecott than the Pulitzer!
8. Releasing silent farts
As long as they're silent but deadly, you can always blame it on the sweet bundle of joy in your arms.
9. Having a messy home
Soon the mess from your child's playroom creeps into the rest of the house until a fine layer of plastic, clothes, and discarded bags of Goldfish carpet the floor. No one can say anything to you though, especially if you have a newborn...unless they want a good bitch slap!
10. Letting your germaphobe tendencies grow
Now you can obsess over germs without judgment since it's all motivated by not wanting to expose your kids to anything harmful. Your friends better deal with sanitizing their hands every time they want to touch your baby!
What do you get away with as a parent? Tweet us @wewomenCA!